I went bald after following hair growth tips from Elegant Beauti!

*Please read disclaimer near the bottom of this post

This is a totally ridiculous review about hair loss. Read all the way to the end to find out why.

I've always been having trouble with my hair. It never had a healthy shine, was always short and spiky, and the strands were as thin as the rubber bands that are used to bundle my takeaway fried kway teow from the coffee shop below my place.

No, I'm not talking about the hair on my head. I'm referring to the locks under my underarms. But all that was going to change after I found this health and beauty website!

I was surfing aimlessly around the internet and happened to chance upon this health and beauty website called Elegant Beauti. And on their website, they had this post that boasted a miracle home treatment that was proven to help men solve all their hair problems!

No fancy medications, no expensive spa treatments, all I needed to do was do 100 pushups, 100 situps, 100 squats and run 10 km every day!

Thinking that it was too good to be true, I decided to give it a go. And after just 4 days of forcing myself to finish this special exercise regime, I immediately started to see instant results! 4 luscious, long, thick and shiny strands of hair had popped out of my underarm out of nowhere!

Obviously I was ecstatic, and this instant results gave me more motivation to follow through the regime towards a future of thick, luscious bushes of underarm hedges under both my arms! For the first 2 weeks, strands of hair were sprouting up from my armpits like bean sprouts. But this was not meant to last...

From somewhere in the middle of my third week into the programme, I noticed that my armpit hairs started to fall off literally in batches of 20 or more. Just look at the photo of 2 of these batches! I could not believe what was happening! 

Out of desperation, I doubled the number of exercises suggested by the website from that day. Although I felt like I had just been ran over by a steam roller after every session, I know that this was for the best. Or so I thought...

One night, while I was casually standing in front of my camera waiting for something random but super interesting to happen, I suddenly felt a surge of strength from within. This feeling kept growing and growing until I could not keep it in any more.

I let out a thunderous shout which shattered all the glass windows of the buildings around me. All hairs on all parts of my body suddenly turned bright yellow in colour, and stood ends as the immense power escaped from my tiny body. There were even beams of bright yellow rays shooting out of the pores of my skin!

Everything happened so quickly and suddenly that I didn't have time to react. I only managed to capture this shot of the entire epic moment before the lens of my camera was shattered too...

And just as quickly and suddenly as it happened, within a couple of seconds, everything went back to normal. Well, almost everything. Instinctively, I rushed over to my mirror to check on my beloved hair. Only to find that I couldn't find a single strand of hair on my body except for my eyebrows! All the hair from my airpits, my head and even where the sun doesn't shine had disappeared!

That surge of yellow power must have burnt all my hair clean off my body, leaving me with a naked, hairless, pink but shiny bald head!

I was so angry that I punched the wall of my room. But the wall didn't move. That was because the entire block shifted 50cm from its original position. It was only then that I realised I had been blessed with something great. Something so powerful that even I could not imagine the results of wielding such power.

And that's how I became the hero that I am today. The hero that everyone calls...


Disclaimer: Believing the photos and comments posted above this disclaimer is like believing that I was the the Dad who discovered a cheap hair growth method that may bring down the hair transplant industry.

So the real reason for me posting this obviously fake post is to get back at this website that had used a photo that I had previously posted online, [without any source credits or approval from me] photoshopped in green splats on my forehead [again without any approval or attempt to contact me] and daringly use the photo as part of a facebook ad promoting their website.

I only got to know about this thanks to a heads-up from @lnelson via Twitter. [Thanks again Nelson!]

I immediately dropped the company a private facebook message [since they didn't have any official email address on their facebook or website] asking them to take down the ad.

Yes, I know i missed out point 4, but that's beside the point.

I waited for more than a day, and have not gotten any response from them up to now, so I decided to fight fire with fire. At first I was contemplating  if I should do a fake review on their product, but I realised that they are more of an health/beauty blog that has some shady clickbait links to more ads. [And not to mention their last post was on 13 July 2015]

So the only next logical thing that came to my mind was to do up this blog post to troll their website. Personally I have nothing against their website, but I am quite pissed about the fact that they used my photo [and photoshopped it to make the photo look relevant to their ad] without my permission as clickbait to their website.

I wouldn't even have minded if it was just a link to a blog post about "20 ways to style your hair" [at least that was relevant to my photo] and if they had credited the source of my photo properly.

But going out of their way to photoshop those green splats and saying that I am a dad? That's too much for even someone of my [non-existent] reputation to take.

Always remember to credit your sources and don't try to pass off other people's content as your own. You will get caught someday.

And no, I am definitely not a dad yet. [One Punchline Man strikes again!]

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