Wise Words from Gnahc Niloc

It's Monday and everyone is having the Monday blues. So here are some wise words from my Philosophical Master Gnahc Niloc to help cheer everyone up.

1. We don't grow up. We only learn how to behave in public.

2. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.

3. To steal ideas from one person is called Plagiarism. To steal from many is called Research.

4. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.

5. Change is the only thing that is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

7. Why do we believe when someone says that there are 4 billion stars in the universe, but have to check when they say the paint is wet?

8. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

9. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

10. Have you ever realised how bias the Miss Universe contest is? All of the previous winners were from Earth!

11. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work this way. So I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness.

12. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you. But it's still on the list.

13. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.

14. You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

15. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm just not sure.

16. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

17. A clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory.

18. Two guys walked into a bar. The third one walked around it.

19. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

And of course, my favouritest line in the universe...

20. God made me perfect. He just made everyone else taller.

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