The Definition of a Gamer

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Everyone knows I love gaming. Especially those competitive games where I'm able to kick the asses of the opponents in the opposite team. Some of my friends even coined me the "GameBoy".


Most guys in general like gaming. We come up with all sorts of excuses: Gaming helps us relax. Gaming helps us de-stress. Gaming is our hobby. Gaming does for men what shopping does for women. But the real reason why most guys like gaming is because of something called the Male Ego.


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Like it or not, all men are competitive by nature. We have this burning desire to prove that we are better than someone else. In anything. And gaming allows us to do just that.


There's a strange satisfaction in having that one thing that you can do better than another man.


Successful Big Shot: I earn $40k a month and own 3 cars and a condo. My wife was the 2nd runner up of the Miss Singapore Universe 2014. My kids are all CEOs of their own companies and we have our annual 1 month vacation to Europe every year.

Gamer: Oh yeah? Well I've completed up to stage 635 of Candy Crush! Oh, you're only at stage 30? Haha! Loser!!


See what I mean?

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But it seems that the word Gamer is being overused these days. It has lost the honour and respect that were previously associated with being a gamer. So what is a Gamer exactly? Is anyone who likes to play games called a gamer? Let me break it down for you.


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A Person who likes to play games does NOT automatically qualify to be coined as a Gamer.
I used to play Pokemon on my gameboy! I'm such a gamer! No you're not. Unless you know the names of all the 151 Pokemon by heart, what Pokemon evolves into what Pokemon, and the location/town where each Pokemon can be caught, you are just someone who has played Pokemon. Oh, and not to mention knowing how to duplicate master balls to catch the MissingNo glitch Pokemon.



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A Gamer does his research and knows his shit.
Games are programmable code. Codes are basically numbers. And the art of gaming is a science. After spending days reading up and understanding the game mechanics, gamers know that they will just barely be able to survive the 33 damage per second over 5 seconds attack with their current health points, after taking into consideration the 2% damage reduction from their armor, and manage to get out of the fight alive. They didn't "Just get lucky".



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A Gamer doesn't blow his own trumpet. He let's his gameplay and scores do the talking for him.
True Gamers are modest. They don't boast about being good at any games they play. When asked about whether they know how to play a specific game, they will just say that they have played it before. But during the game, he can single-handedly take down the entire team and survive with just a pinch of Health Points left. But again, he will say "Nahhh, I was just lucky." [Refer to the point above]



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A Gamer has respect for his teammates AND opponents.
Only childish kids relate their teammates for being "NOOB" to certain vital organs of your mother's reproductive system. Real gamers will politely suggest and give advice to the uninitiated on how they should play to better benefit the entire team. Oh, and classy gamers don't go around bragging to their opponents about how pro they are for not being killed even once in the game. A simple, classy "gg" [Gamer slang for "Good Game"] will suffice.



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A Gamer is a perfectionist. No game gets stashed away until you manage to collect that final epic weapon or catch every single Pokemon.
A game is not complete when you complete the final stage. To a gamer, a game is only complete when you complete every single side-quest there is, attain the highest stars for each level, or collect all the best items for each of the 4 different classes of characters you can choose.



And the easiest way to tell whether or not a person is a true gamer?

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That finger placement...



#JustGamerThings