Cheaters Never Win. Oh wait, Apparently this one did.

Image taken from www.straitstimes.com


So it seems that Singapore has finally found something that we do not have to rely on foreign talents to help us to get to the top spots. Pastry chef Mr Tam Chua Puh claimed 1st place in this year's Standard Chartered 42.195km full Marathon race, finishing the race in 2hrs 46min and 57sec.


Oh, and apparently he only ran 6km of the entire 42km route. Read up more on the stories here:
http://www.straitstimes.com/breaking-news/sports/story/mystery-winner-just-wanted-t-shirt-and-medal-20131205
and here:
http://therealsingapore.com/content/standard-chartered-marathon-%E2%80%98winner%E2%80%99-only-ran-6km-42km-race


Yup. Singaporeans definitely have talent. And that talent is called Creative Cheating. Apparently Mr Tam is a serial cheater and has put his creative cheating skills to the test in the previous 2 Standard Chartered Marathons as well. Too bad he was caught on all 3 occasions.


Image taken from google search


Why do Singaporeans cheat? Well, we can put majority of the blame on our social conditioning to become a kiasu [literally translated as "afraid to lose" in hokkien] Singaporean. Where the objective of partaking in any form of mass participation event is "to be the first".


We even have a cartoon character aptly named "Mr Kiasu"
Image taken from google search


It has come to the point where majority of the students from a class will reply "To become the top student of the class", when asked what would make them feel most successful in terms of studies. It doesn't matter if they learnt nothing, or just memorized every single word in the dictionary, but as long as they came out tops, they would consider themselves successful.


So what do the not-so-academically-inclined, but highly innovative students do? They turn to cheating. And trust me when I say that they are really innovative with their methods.


From the coke bottle label to the "Thinking Cap" [sticking the cheatsheet to the bottom of your baseball cap] to the stuff-notes-into-your-underwear-and-check-them-in-the-toilet methods, students have come up with some of the most ingenious ways to cheat, just to get a good grade.


Print your cheatsheet on this Coke Bottle template for an instant sugar rush and memory boost 
Image taken from google search


And while we are on the topic of cheating, here are some other weird and unique events that you might what to try to cheat on.


Image taken from google search

1. Cutest Baby Contest
With so many digital image processing enhancing softwares out there in the market, this one's a no brainer. Snap a photo of your ugly baby and photoshop him/her into a perfect baby model look before sending off the photograph to the organisers. And if ever you need to bring baby to meet the organisers face-to-face, there's always plastic surgery.



Image taken from google search

2. Vertical Marathons
This is even easier to cheat at then your standard marathons. Everyone has played block catching before. Vertical Marathons are basically super-sized versions of our favourite childhood HDB game. What's more, the cheating mechanism has already been built in into the completion venue. You could be crowned the champion of any vertical marathon with literally just a push of a [lift] button. All you need to do is to get rid of those pesky ushers guarding the lift entrances.



Image taken from google search

3. Wife Carrying Championships
Missed the day that you carried your newly-wedded wife into your new home? Why not reminisce those times by taking part in the annual Wife Carrying Championships in Finland? Try to beat your competition while carrying your wife through a barrage of obstacles that includes hurdles and a pool. I bet I could easily win this competition after I get married to by goldfish. I just need to find somewhere where getting married to your fish is legal.



Image taken from google search

4. Extreme Ironing Championships
Tired of the everyday boring chores that you have to do around the house? I've got the perfect solution for you. Why not take those chores out of the house to somewhere dangerous and precarious [read: where you could possibly die] and complete them there? That's what the Extreme Ironing Championships are about. And while you're at it? Singaporeans should have no qualms about bringing their maids along for this contest to get them to iron our clothes for us. Leticia! We got some ironing to do!



Image taken from google search

5. World Championship Cockroach Racing
Only in a land where everything is trying to kill you will you find humans celebrating a national holiday by racing cockroaches. Come on, what could be more fun than hundreds of humans gathered together to to cheer our hairy-legged creepy crawlies as vie for the title of the Fastest Roach. This may be a good opportunity to put that spare firework you have lying in your storeroom to good use by strapping it onto the back of your roach, and painting the words "Speed Demon" on it. Just be prepared to celebrate his victory by picking up whatever mutilated parts you can still find of him at the end of the race.


I think I need to sit down in the corner for a while now...

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