Osaka, Here We Come!

On 13th of April 2013, Singapore witnessed the crowning of our very own Singapore Dance Delight Vol. 04 champions: Megamint.

Along with being crowned one of the best dancers in the ASEAN region, they also got a chance to fly to Osaka, Japan to participate in the Japan Dance Delight Vol. 20, representing our very own Singapore!
And guess what? F&N has graciously selected William Tan and myself to accompany Megamint to Osaka to experience Japan Dance Delight!!


We will be bringing you LIVE updates from Osaka, Japan on our explorations and even during the Japan Dance Delight, mainly through Twitter and Instagram! So don't forget to follow us as we take in the sights and sounds of Osaka and immerse ourselves in the dance extravaganza known as Japan Dance Delight Vol. 20!! And remember to check back here for our blog updates after the trip!

Follow Us for LIVE updates on Megamint and JDD Vol 20:

Colin Chang (A.K.A. The Minute Man SG)
Twitter: (@MinuteManSG)
Instagram: (MinuteManSG)

William Tan
Twitter: (@william82sg)
Instagram: (william82sg)

Once again, I would like to say a big THANK YOU to F&N and for giving us the opportunity to accompany Megamint to Osaka, on their journey to fulfill their dreams as nationally recognised dancers! Japan, here we come! CHEERS!!~!! Or as the Chinese would say, HUAT AH!!!!

Osaka, here we come!!

The KPIs of Life

Image taken from google search

We were talking about KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) today at work, and this lead me to think, if our daily lives had KPIs, what would they be, and how well would we score at each of them?

For those of you who have no idea what KPIs are, here's a textbook definition straight from wikipedia:

performance indicator or key performance indicator (KPI) is a type of performance measurement.[1] An organization may use KPIs to evaluate its success, or to evaluate the success of a particular activity in which it is engaged. Sometimes success is defined in terms of making progress toward strategic goals,[2] but often success is simply the repeated, periodic achievement of some level of operational goal (e.g. zero defects, 10/10 customer satisfaction, etc.).

What this basically means is that a KPI is something that you use to measure, compare and rate your performance, usually across several periods.

Image taken from google search

Granted that it may be different from each individual, as every one of us has a list and order of priorities that are important to us. Some people might put family first, some work, some hobbies and other passion. Here's a list of KPIs that the average human would have:

1. How much money have I earned this year?

2. How many competitors have I beaten this year? (Be it in business, romance or even physical competitions)

3. Did I get an increment or promotion at work?

4. Is my family more well-off than they were previously?

5. How many women did I manage to get with?

Yes, these KPIs may help you to measure how successful [in your own terms] you are in life, however, life is much more than just aiming to be successful. Yes, to a certain extent, the world does run on money, and having more of it usually helps to make for a more comfortable life. But I believe that the satisfaction attained from attaining more money decreases exponentially as your earnings increase.

Yes, at first a jump from a $1,000 salary to a $2,000 salary would mean the world to anyone. Let's assume the satisfaction attained from this increase of $1,000 as a score of 80/100.

Next, when you get your next increment from $2,000 to $3,000, I'm sure that most of you would agree with me when I say that the satisfaction attained would only be around 75/100. Not as satisfying as your first increment, even though the amount is exactly the same.

And when you go from $3,000 to $4,000, more likely than not, the satisfaction will stay around the same level of 75/100 or may even be lower than that.

This trend of 70-80/100 satisfaction rate would be likely to continue until you reach somewhere around the amount of $8,000 - $10,000. From here on, things start to deteriorate. An increment from $10,000 to $13,000 would only give you a satisfaction of around 50-60/100. Although it is actually 3 times the amount, as your very first increment, you don't even get the same satisfaction as you did way back during the first increment.

And the reason is simple. It's because you are already living in comfort with the amount that you are currently earning. Getting a new Nike T-Shirt when you were earning $1,000 would have granted you much more happiness than adding another Prada bag to your collection of 299.

Image Taken from google search

And this is what I call the Income Tipping Point. Everyone has a different Tipping Point depending on their lifestyle and dreams, but the fact is everyone WILL have a Tipping Point. And once they have reached this Tipping Point, earning anything more would just be another coin in the pocket, with little or no satisfaction whatsoever.

That's why I feel that financial gains should not be on the list of life KPIs. The KPIs of life should only include the things that can provide a consistent amount of satisfaction no matter how much of it you have already achieved previously. And these things are usually of non-material, intangible value.

1. How much have your actions improved the lives of others?

2. How many people have you made happier?

3. How many times have you challenged yourself to be better at something?

4. How many new learning experiences have you had?

5. How much money have you saved? [Without being a miser]

These are my 5 personal KPIs of life. I get satisfaction from learning and becoming better person. This feeling of self-satisfaction feels 100 times better than the satisfaction that 10 million dollars can give.

The secret is to be content with whatever you currently have, but at the same time, always looking for chances to improve on it.

Image taken from google search

A wise tortoise once said: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why it is called the 'present'."

At the same time, 3 Idiots once told me something that I believe is oh so true:

Image taken from google search

Google's Autocomplete at its Best

Google has done such a fantastic job of optimizing internet search that nowadays, when we search for something on the Internet, we always say "Google it". Although Google is actually just one "brand" of the many different Internet search engines around. [The same thing goes for Pampers. Nobody says "Let's go get more diapers" anymore.]

One of the many popular features of Google's powerful search engine is its ability to "predict" what you are actually looking for while you type it out. This of course saves us lots of time as we do not have to type out the entire phrase.

It is said that the suggestions are based on popularity of real searches done by real humans. Well, apparently many humans seem to be looking for very peculiar stuff on the Internet. And I'm not talking about porn.

Here is a list of some of the most hilarious Google autocomplete suggestions that I have come across. All personally tested to be true by yours truly.

1. i hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl
I also hope you are living in 300 BC so this can be possible

2. how to raise your iq by eating gifted children
first, you need to get parents to send you children through snail mail. Emailing them does not work.

3. sometimes i like to cover myself in vaseline
sometimes I like to stay away from creepy people

4. can i get aids from swimming with black people
can I get Alzheimer's from swimming with stupid people?

5. i hate it when a chinchilla eats the universe
I love it when there are irrational fears of cute animals

6. i am extremely terrified of chinese people
Beware, I am extremely chinese!

7. are babies dishwasher safe
No. And apparently parents aren't stupid safe as well

8. i hate it when voldemort hides in in my turban / i hate it when voldemort uses my shampoo
I hate it when Harry Potter fans crash google search

9. why is there a dead pakistani on my couch
the bigger question would be, why are there CIA agents knocking on your door?

10. my hair is a bird and your argument is invalid
I never knew Medusa had a cousin who was into debates

11. why won't my parakeet eat my diarrhea
why won't your neighbours report you to SPCA?

12. your hands and feet are mangos
Cannibalism at its best

13. my pants are haunted
Yeah, the cloth around my crotch area will suddenly get raised without any reason!

14. do children go to heaven / do children go to hell
No, they go to school, just like you did when you were young

15. i want a hippopotamus for christmas
because giraffes are too mainstream

16. can jesus microwave a burrito
I don't think either of them even existed during his time

17. monkeys are made of chocolate
and unicorns are made of rainbows

18. you smell like a baby prostitute
you smell like a sick paedophile

19. chuck norris can swim through land
He can also break a Nokia 3210 in half

20. never put jam on a magnet
it just makes the magnet taste bad

Seriously Google?

Childhood Ruined: Your Favourite Nursery Rhymes, Destroyed

Image taken from google search

While browsing a book store over this long weekend, Mint and myself chanced upon some nursery rhyme books that she was thinking of getting for her little nieces and nephews. While browsing through the pages of these books, the songs and melodies just came back to us instantly. However, my ever criticizing brain soon realised something was very very wrong....

Have you ever realised that almost all nursery rhymes had some form of sadist ending to them? It's either about somebody/something falling down, someone getting scared, someone getting injured etc etc. Let's take a look at a couple of them...

Image taken from google search

London Bridge
London Bridge is falling down, 
falling down, 
falling down.
London Bridge is falling down,
My fair lady.

Possibly the most well-known nursery rhyme in the world. But unknown to the little ones, it is based on an ominous scenario. Well, if the London Bridge were to really fall down, there would be widespread panic and mayhem across the world. I really don't think anyone would be bragging about it to their fair-skinned girlfriend.

But wait, there's more:

Build it up with Silver and Gold,
Silver and Gold,
Sliver and Gold.
Build it up with Silver and Gold,
My fair lady.

Image taken from google search

Is this what we really want to do? Instilling in our kids from such a young age that money [Silver and Gold] can solve almost any problem? And even if it was remotely possible, a huge bridge made purely out of silver and gold would only serve to attract the world's best criminals to try to get their hands on a chunk of this bridge. Which in turn, would lead to instability of the structure and ultimately, history repeating itself as London Bridge is falling down again.

Image taken from google search

Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
and Jill came tumbling after.

Another nursery rhyme that was probably written by a sadist. Assuming that this was written in the olden days, the most logical method of getting a "pail of water" would be from a well. And since nursery rhymes were mostly based on children, we shall assume Jack and Jill were children too.

Firstly, any sane adult would know that it would not be safe to get 2 kids to fetch a pail of water from any well [much less one that was at the top of a hill]. How many stories have you heard of children or animals falling into wells and getting stuck in there?

Secondly, the only possible reason why both kids would come tumbling down together is if they were having some sort of scuffle on the hill top. If not, it would only be 1 kid rolling down the hill, and not 2. Or, the second possible scenario would be that Jack and Jill were not young toddlers at all, and were probably doing something else up on the hilltop. Childhood ruined.

Image taken from google search

Lastly, why does the injuries have to be so severe? It's a children's nursery rhyme for goodness sake. Couldn't it be "Jack fell down and bruised his knee" or "Jack fell down and bumped his head"? Which, by the way, would already be a traumatising experience for kids that age. "Braking your crown" can literally be translated into "fracturing your skull". Yup. The writer was definitely a sick sadist.

Image taken from google search

Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men,
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

I have a personal vendetta against this one. There is no phase, word or letter in this nursery rhyme that says anything about Humpty Dumpty being an egg. But why do all the books, shows and even movies have to portray him as a talking egg? I mean, he could have been a dog, a cat, a donkey, a panda or even a drunk human for all we know.

Anyway, here we go again with the falling and hurting of the main character. With all these stereotypes about kids falling down and hurting themselves, it's no wonder children these days are so afraid of falling and failure. I'm glad that during my childhood, I learnt that it's always natural to fall down a couple of times when learning something new. All you have to do is to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.

Image taken from google search

And what's with the king's horses and men? You mean that only the king [or people in the position of power] can help others in need? Why couldn't the common folk come to Humpty's aid? The only possible reason is that Humpty was a prisoner trying to escape prison by climbing over the high walls. That would be the only explanation why there were no common folk around when he fell, and the first to get to him were the "king's horses and men" [who would, in most communities, be the last to arrive after all the dust has settled], would would probably have been the prison wardens.

Image taken from google search

3 Blind Mice
3 Blind Mice. 3 Blind Mice.
See how they run, see how they run.
They all run after the farmer's wife,
who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
have you ever seen such a scene in your life,
as 3 blind mice.

Lots of animal abuse in this one. Mice don't just go blind naturally, and what are the odds of having 3 blinded mice side by side? In my opinion, the farmer or his wife definitely had something to do with this. And to make matters worse, apart from digging their eyes out, she even cut off their tails with a knife. Well, serves you right that these little fellas want to get back at you.

Image taken from google search

Hey, wait a minute. Did the rhyme say mice? How could she do such cruel things to cute little mice who would normally cause much less trouble than their ugly, mutated cousins, the rats. [Not that I'm saying animal abuse to rats should be condoned either] Someone please report her to the SPCA.

Image taken from google search

Little Miss Muffet
Little Miss Muffet, 
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away.

Well, this one is quite straight forward. The writer probably had arachnophobia and hoped that the whole world supported him in his irrational fear of spiders. The whole setting of the nursery rhyme was meticulously planned so that Miss Muffet would be placed in the most comfortable [and hence most vulnerable] environment, which that nasty little spider could take full advantage of to scare the shit out of her.

It's not like the poor guy was crawling up her leg or anything like that. He only just sat down beside her! Maybe he was just trying to make a new friend, or even just going about his own business. This is probably one of the main reasons why 99% of female humans on this planet act exactly like Miss Muffet upon seeing a tiny little spider. I'm telling you, the "socially accepted" reaction is infused in their brain by this nursery rhyme. And in all fairness, the spider was probably more scared by Miss Muffet's sudden screaming and and running off like that than she was of it.

Image taken from google search

See. What did I tell you? Sorry I had to ruin your childhood like that. But I feel that the world has to know of the evils that we are actually singing to our kids when they are at their most influential age! Parents of the world, before you sing your next nursery rhyme to your kids tonight, please review it and make sure it really teaches the values and standards that we want our children to grow up with.

Sometimes, even I scare myself with how my brain works...