Strange Names For Your Kids

Image taken from google search

Image taken from google search

Image taken from google search

Batman Bin Suparman. Fire Penguin Disco Panda. And more recently, North West.

Out of all the names you would give your children, why would you choose something like that? Unless you're out to make your child's life a living joke. In which case, I highly doubt you are mature enough to be even having your own kid.

Naming your child is one of the most, if not THE most important part of becoming a parent. The child's name will be something that would follow [or in this case, haunt] him for all his life, unless he decides to change it when he is officially old enough.

The English language itself already has a legion of weirdly named people, but what happens when you add the Chinese names into the mix? The result is a claypot of hilarious personal identifications that sound ok in Chinese but results in your child's English name being the butt of all jokes in primary and secondary school. Or vice versa.

Image taken from google search

During my army days, I meet this guy who's Chinese name was 号龙 [Hao Long]. It may sound ok in Chinese, but the English translation of his name was "How Long". And to make matters worse, his English surname was Kok... [True Story] I hope that the real reason behind it was that his parents were not English educated and not because they had a really bad sense of humour.

Obviously he has gotten used to having his friends joke about his name from a very young age, so every time when his name was called, he would reply without hesitation "Very Long Instructor!", which made it even funnier.

Ming Zi - Translates to "Name" in Chinese

Recently Mint Leong and myself have been thinking of funny names that we could give our future children / relative's children to make sure that they would hate us forever.

One of my relatives had named their 3 daughters with names ending with -na. And we all thought that the next child, their first son, would be named Banana. Fortunately [or unfortunately] they didn't go with the flow. Or else I would suspect he would be Mr Popular now with all the buzz about minions and bananas.

Image taken from google search

Leong translates to 梁 [Liang] in Chinese. I'm sure many of you can instantly come up with lots of crappy names to go with this surname, for example 梁体温 [Liang Ti Wen - Sounds similar to "Measuring Body Temperature" in Chinese] or 梁部道 [Liang Bu Dao - Sounds similar to "Unmeasurable" in Chinese]

And if I had a daughter, I would [if you wanted her to hate you for the rest of her life] name her "Faye". Nice name right? And her Chinese name would be 漂亮 [Piao Liang]. So that she will feel proud every time somebody calls her full name: Faye Chang Piao Liang [Sounds similar to "Extremely Pretty" in Chinese]

Another one [thanks for the reminder Babygirl] of our favourites would be to give our future child the Chinese name 命百 [Ming Bai] and have his English name as Suay [Singlish for unlucky]. This way, although he would be termed as the unluckiest child in the history of Singapore, every time someone calls his full name, he would be blessed with a hundred years of longevity! Long live Chang Ming Bai Suay! [Sounds similar to the Chinese proverb of wishing that someone has long and fruitful life]

Image taken from google search

Oh, and have you heard the one where a mum passed out while giving birth to her 2 unnamed twins, a boy and a girl? When she awoke, she frantically asked the nurse if anyone had helped to name her babies. The nurse calmly replied that her brother, who accompanied her to the hospital had already helped to name them.

Knowing that her brother was someone who would always make a joke out of things, she worriedly asked for the name of her daughter. "Denise" The nurse replied. [Phew, not bad for a girl's name actually].

And what about her son's name? "Denephew". *Mother Faints*

Do you have any funny names [fact or fiction] that you have heard of?

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