Queuing Up on the MRT

Although our long-running Courtesy Lion has finally had the last straw and quit due to our increasingly inconsiderate behaviour in Singapore, there are still little glimpses of courtesy that one can catch if you look long and hard enough.

Just take this photo for example:

Image taken from hardwarezone

Normally you would see aunties and uncles pushing and shoving, trying to squeeze to the front of the crowd waiting at the MRT doors. However, this picture shows that there may still be some hope that Singaporeans are actually still kind and courteous souls deep down inside. [Either that or that there are no aunties and uncles at Raffles Place MRT station]

But this picture got me thinking. If every single Singaporean were to be so obedient courteous as to queue up  quietly according to the yellow lines drawn on the floor, this would also cause another major problem.

Using my superior Powerpoint skills, let me explain these problems graphically:

The main problem with these markings is that there's no Snake!

The designers of the current yellow queue lines obviously did not grow up in the era of the ultimate handphone game: Snake. [Either that or they were extremely lousy at it]

These are the existing marking on the floor just in front of each MRT door:

Anyone who has ever played the original Nokia Snake will know that you can't keep going in 1 single direction when the line gets longer and longer.

Imagine if everyone were to queue up courteously and graciously according to the how it is depicted in the previous photo:

Or even worse, following the yellow markings on the ground:

As you can see, there will always be problems for people queuing up to enter the trains [depicted by the yellow balls], because the lines will always tend to cross another queue line when all lines start to get longer.

It is slightly better for the 'exiters' [the green balls] in the 2nd picture because they don't have to squeeze through people waiting to enter the trains.

But coming from an expert Nokia Snake player who can make shapes like these:
[I couldn't find any other talents out there like me, so I had to draw them using makepixelart]

Here's my rendition of how I feel people should queue up for the MRT, much like how the same thing works for bus queues at bus interchanges.

The logic is simple: If you want people to queue up, MAKE A DAMN QUEUE!
It really doesn't get any simpler than that.

Besides, isn't queuing up one of Singaporean's favourite hobbies?
[Just visit MacDonalds during this preiod and you will understand what I'm talking about]

Image taken from flickr

Also, since we are on the topic of MRTs, let's have a chat about the new 'free' MRT rides if you exit in city area stations before 7.45am in the morning.

Who in the hell takes the MRT to the city before 7.45am? The only people who could benefit from this scheme are:

  • School children who have to reach schools located in the city by 7am
  • Drunk cheapos that wait out for the last train back to their city homes after a night of heavy drinking

Only primary and secondary schools start so early. However, there are no primary or secondary schools in town! Most of the schools around town are tertiary education schools. And the earliest that these schools start is at 8.30am!

As for the drunk cheapos, if they can afford to go drinking up to the wee hours in the morning and at the same time have a house in town, I'm quite sure that they are from well to do families and most likely than not own a car. This means that they wouldn't even consider taking the public transport home, even though they are dead drunk. [Our dear Red Ferrari is an excellent example]

In short, this scheme benefits less than 1% of the actual working population. What's worse, I find the tagline of the new scheme extremely amusing.

"Have an early workout!"

Image taken from SGForum

Have you noticed that 90% of the working population looks like they are dragging their asses to work every morning? Would you think that these people would be motivated to wake up earlier than usual to exercise?

Yes, there are fitness freaks out there who love a good workout, but these humans are already cycling/jogging to work every morning!

And I really feel that the number of people taking the MRT in Singapore is getting out of control. Just a short 2 years ago, the last few trains around 10pm to 11pm going back to the East would be almost empty, to the point where you could choose which seat you want to warm.

However, fast-forward to today, even if you are taking the last train home, chances are that you might not even be able to find an available seat in that last train back! What's the matter with you people? Working late does not mean that you are a hardworking employee. In fact, to me, consistently working late means that you are inefficient and cannot complete your work on time!

Every ride on the MRT is like fighting a kung fu battle. I think I need to start mastering 2 new martial art poses: Sleeping Mind, Standing Body and Stalk Stands Firm on Shaky Ground.

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