The Degeneration of Social Media

In today's age of technology where smartphones get poked more than the fruits at your local fruit stall, social media has become a common term as well as a powerful tool for individuals and organisations alike.

Social media is defined by Wikipedia as "interactive, web-based platforms where individuals and communities create and exchange user-generated content." In simple terms, social media is a place where humans get to shout whatever they want for the entire cyber-world [or at least everyone they approve of] to see.

The introduction of mainstream social media has changed our very way of life. Platforms such as facebook, twitter and youtube have become an irreplaceable part of many individuals' daily life. Where we once deemed "Let's exchange phone numbers!" to be a major milestone in any friendship, the friendships today are started by "You have 1 new friend request".

While social media is without a doubt the most powerful tool humans have seen when it comes to sharing and spreading of information, as with all tools, it is only effective if used correctly. [Have you ever tried using the handle of a hammer to pound a nail into some wood?]

But the difference between social media and other tools is that social media is readily available to anyone and everyone who has a decent Internet connection. In Singapore and any other first-world countries, this means every single human in the country! So we now have billions of humans with access to a supertool. Hmmm... I wonder what can go wrong here... To quote good old Uncle Ben from Spiderman: "With great power, comes great responsibility"

Social media is a great way of spreading and sharing information as well as a good channel to have discussions with like-minded humans on topics of interest. But these valuable information make up only a small minority of the entire web of what we call social media these days. The rest of it is flooded with meaningless rants, unimportant updates and pictures of pets and food that has little or no value. Our social media platforms are heavily polluted by noise such as these.

I mean, what's the use of tweeting a picture of a cupcake with the words "Teabreak time with bestie!!" Nobody [except maybe your boss] cares about what time you are having your tea break, what you are eating or who you are having tea with.

Instead, why not tweet something more informative such as "Mmm. Delicious Red Velvet Cupcakes from 12 Cupcakes for tea!" By doing so, at least you are contributing to the social media circle by casting your vote of approval for this product, as well as informing other humans how to get their hands on it. THIS is useful information.

Social media has turned us into attention whores and entertainment junkies. A video loop of a pixelised cat flying through space to a somewhat irritating tune while shitting rainbows is deemed to be more valuable and successful than a well written analysis of the effects of global warming, just because it has been viewed and shared 90 million more times than the latter.

I guess this is all playing on our human instinct to want to be noticed by others. Coupled with the fact that the traditional media has been seeding the ideals in our head that your success is based on how famous and popular you are, humans these days all harbour hopes of becoming the next internet sensation, regardless of race, language or religion. Just like this guy:

This is what the social media of today has become: A sea of humans frantically jumping around in the social ocean holding up our handwritten "LOOK AT ME!" signboards, screaming and hoping that someone will take notice of us. We crave attention, be it good or bad. So long as there are people looking at us [even if it's for the wrong reasons], we feel high and mighty. In other words, humans associate success with the amount of attention they are getting.

Everyone on social media these days seem to be trying too hard to blog/tweet/photograph something in hopes that their contribution will go viral and make them famous. To me, I feel that is the wrong mindset. Going viral should not be the ultimate goal. Making a meaningful contribution should be the primary objective  of anything posted on social media. If your contribution happens to go viral, then it's a bonus. But apparently this is not how most of the humans [and kittens] on the Internet think.

On a personal note, I am not looking for hordes of fans who follow my every blog post or tweet. I just like voicing my views on topics of interest [which inadvertently may also happen to be current hot topics floating around the Internet]. If you don't like what I write about or find me boring, you are more then welcomed to click that big red X button on the top right corner of your screen.

Other than the addiction for attention, the generation of today are also turning into entertainment junkies. With ever-ready access to information and entertainment literally at our fingertips, we have become developed the habit of expecting to be entertained every single minute.

Be it whatsapp messages, sending tweets or updating facebook updates, or even shooting green pigs with red birds from a giant rubber band catapult, we are so obsessed with keeping ourselves entertained.

Take a typical meetup dinner session with friends for example. Many times, even in the midst of the conversation, humans these days have a natural instinct to whip out their smartphones once the conversation diverts to a topic that has little or no interest to them. Even worse, some humans [mostly of the skirt-wearing species] can even actively participate in the conversation while having their eyes and fingers glued to their smartphone screens.

Personally I find this very impolite as I believe that it is basic courtesy to give your full attention to the person you are talking to. This means maintaining eye contact and being observant of the other party's body language. How would you like it if I face my back to you throughout the entire conversation?

Here's a game you can play during these type of situations. I have personally tried it with some friends and the results were pretty good. Get everyone to stack their phones face down in the middle of the table. From that moment, nobody is allowed to reach for their phone until the end of the meetup. The first person who cracks under the pressure and removes his phone from the stack pays for the meal or buys everyone a drink.

You'll be surprised with the quality of the conversations that are generated when no one has their phones to distract them! Try it and you'll know what I mean!

So the next time you want to share something on social media, before you click that 'submit' button, I beg you to think whether or not it is going to be of any use to the rest of society or whether it is going to become another speck of dust lost in all the Internet garbage we have floating around today.

Gossip's Afoot

Just within these couple of days, I've gotten myself entwined into not 1 but 2 gossip-worthy sagas. The more notable one would be the ZR-Alvin-Yuki saga, and another squabble closer to home, which I shall not detail here.

Sometimes it just makes me wonder why people like to gossip around so much.
[in other words, why are people so kaypo?]

I woke up on Tuesday morning to a shocking jump in my blog pageviews. Seems like everyone had suddenly become interested in Zoe Raymond's love life, and a recent picture I posted in a food review seemed to be the evidence of some underground hanky panky. Read my post here.

So today, I'm going to share my own opinions on dating and relationships in general.

I am totally not interested in whether or not ZR did or did not steal someone else's fiancĂ©e. That is irrelevant. This type of things happen everyday , but just because ZR is someone in the limelight, everyone starts wagging their tongues. If this happened to any of your secondary school or university friends that is not of any celebrity status, [read: someone who the public doesn't give a shit about] nobody would even be bothered to find out anything and just accept the fact that the new couple is together.

Where 3x Is Not A Charm

My personal take on 3rd party interferences in relationships is plain and simple. As long as a couple is not gone through ROM and are legally married, there is always a chance that a separation might occur. Well, technically, even after marriage, there's something called a divorce. But let's not go there.

To remove the stigma of whether the male or the female is the one who has a change of heart, let's just use Person A and B in this example. So, Person A and Person B are in a stable relationship. Everything is sweet and romantic. They say they even promise each other that they are going to get married someday. But they are not yet officially married.

Then 1 day, Person C appears. Some how, some way, Person A develops a liking for Person C. A liking. Some good tingles but not any deep emotional feelings. Person A and Person C start getting closer. They text, they have meals together, they wish each other goodnight every night.

At this point, I don't feel that anyone has done anything wrong yet. Persons A and B are still together, and Persons A and C are becoming close friends [regardless whether or not there is intent to bring the relationship further] As long as there is no romantic intimacy between Persons A and C, I don't feel they have done anything wrong yet.

The level of acceptable intimacy between friends defers from person to person. Personally, as long as they are not holding hands, kissing, having awesome sex etc. I'm still see the relationship as nothing more than 2 close friends hanging out.

And even if Person C indirectly causes Persons A and B to break up with each other, Person C is not at fault, so long as there is no romantic intimacy between Persons A and C before the breakup.

Let's say you bought a blue pen and have been using it for quite a while. And you're quite happy with it. But one day you see a black pen in a stationary shop that you really like. And you walk straight in and buy it. Is it the black pen's fault that you stop using the blue pen?

Nobody is at fault here. It is just a combination of factors that lead to the final outcome.

1. Person A choose someone whom he thought was the right one at that point of time when A and B got together.

2. Person B was not able to keep Person A's heart from looking for someone new

3. Person C's appearance made Person A realise that Person B may not be the right one after all

In my opinion, as long as there's a clean break off between Persons A and B before any serious romance begins between Persons A and C, it's perfectly fine. That's how the world works my friend.

However, if Persons A and C were already having romantic escapades even before the breakup of A and B, then BOTH of them are at fault.

A is at fault for being unfaithful to his partner, while B is at fault for crossing the line even though A and B are still together. But that doesn't mean Person B has totally no fault that the relationship failed. Person B was at fault for not being able to provide Person A with enough love/care/sex that he/she expected.

The Root Cause

And the whole reason why people in stable relationships tend to drift apart is that they tend to get too comfortable with each other. Yes, it's very normal for partners to shed their 'dating' skin and revert back to their natural caveman ways once the relationship is stable. Heck, even I do it. My babygirl is already so used to me yawning, burping and farting in the same room as her.

But what I mean by not getting to comfortable with someone is that you start taking for granted that he/she will still love you forever after without the need for you to put in any effort in the relationship. It's like saying "Me, owner. Me sit. You bring food." If you want a relationship like that, get a pet instead. [Just for the record, even pets run away from over-demanding owners]

Every relationship requires consistent effort by both parties to make it work through the years. The secret is to act as if you are still in the 'chase' phase of your relationship once in a while. Always think for your partner, give him/her a small surprise here and there, bring him/her out for a romantic dinner during special occasions.

As long as you keep your partner's heart racing and not knowing what comes next, it is quite impossible that he/she will even take a second look at any other potential partner other then yourself. That's why I made a promise to myself and my babygirl that "I will never stop chasing you"

Gossip Mongers

In any case, one should ALWAYS get their facts right before running your mouth off. Gossip is an evil thing and can lead to broken friendships and relationships even when the "issue" was not even an issue in the first place.

I only believe in 30% of what anyone says unless I hear it from the horse's mouth. If someone says someone else said this and that, please go and confirm with that someone that they actually said it. [Or check the CCTV and audio recording footage if you have any]

The bottom line is, if you do not have any facts on what really happened, please SHUT THE !@#$% UP. Not getting your facts right is like saying you believe me without any doubt when I say "Last night I killed a sabre-tooth tiger with my lightsaber while riding on my unicorn that farts rainbows!"

Wait, who took my picture last night!?

Top to Toe Essentials, Lesson 101: The Hair Makes the Man

Welcome to the first episode of my humble guide on how to fashionise and stylorise yourself. Read on for some of my opinions on how to enhance your appearance.

Why did I create this series? Being a freelance talent, appearance is the main deciding factor that determines whether or not you get selected by the agencies to do jobs. And being a perfectionist further emphasizes my need to look my best. Here are some tips on how to look your best at any time.

Of course, this guide is not meant for only the people who generally 'look good', but rather for everyone out there. I believe that everyone can enhance their appearance no matter how you look like, without going under the knife. Take it from me, all it takes is a bit of knowledge and some effort.

Still don't believe me? Well, take a look at how I used to look like during my younger days...
[I better prepare a paper bag to hide my face first]

This is me when I was in secondary school...

And this is me during my polytechnic years... 

Just looking at these pictures sends a cold shudder down my spine. I wonder how I ever survived looking like that during my younger days. No wonder no girls were ever interested in me... Haha.

And I now proudly present to you, my present-day look:

That's me after my haircut last night at D' Mane Club @ Far East Plaza Level 2
Visit their facebook page here:

So you see, throughout my short time on this planet, I have gone through several phases before I ended up with what I am today. From the toot-toot to the bengish and finally to my current smart-clean look. And who knows what type of style I would evolve to in the future?

In any case, from the photo timeline above, you would notice that there is 1 major difference between the photos that makes a drastic difference to the appearance: The hair style. And that is what today's topic is all about. 

Even during ancient times, hair played an important part in the overall appearance of man. Across many different civilizations, different hair arrangements were required for different occasions and to signify different social statuses.

In ancient Egypt, the higher your status, the more elaborate your hairstyle would be. The high and mighty would usually have braided or weaved hair, while the servants were only allowed to sport short, neat hair, and the heads of slaves would usually be clean shaven.

This tradition has seemed to be passed down through the ages as even in the early modern western cultures, lawyers and judges all wore white curly wigs. This was because in the past, the only humans who could read and write were monks. These monks were hired by the judges as clerks to record details of the cases. This was until some dispute broke out between the King and the Church (where the monks came from), and monks were forbidden from attending court. So the wig was used to hide the fact that a monk was partaking in any court proceedings.

Well, I'm assuming none of us reading this are monks, so that we have some hair on our head to play with. Depending on your style, different hairstyles suit different humans. For the humans with the smaller build, we usually are more suited to short, spunky hair that, together with our minute size, gives us the charming boyish look.

So step one of how to get a nice hairstyle, would of course be to find a good hairstylist! I know that a few humans might disagree with me on this one. Some say it doesn't matter if it is a $10 haircut or a $100 haircut, the end result is only determined by how well you can style your own hair.

I used to think this way too. Preferring to go to my local barber instead of those fancy hairdressing saloons in town. But I only saw the light after my ex-girlfriend forced me to let her hairstylist cut my hair. Previously when I had my hair done by the local barbers, the hairstyle would only be good for about 1 week. After which, my hair would start growing out in a 1001 different directions, making it manageable and almost impossible to get a good hair day. And mind you, the length of my hair was usually less 10 cm.

But most importantly, the condition of my hair went from bad to worse. I noticed that I was beginning to have more and more split ends, my hair was losing its shine and was starting to feel like wild grass every time I touched it.

But immediately after I had my first haircut by a proper hairstylist, it felt totally different on that very same night when I went back to wash my hair. The split ends were gone and my hair felt smoother than normal. That was when I made a promise to myself that no local barber would touch my hair ever again.

Each person has their own favourite hair stylist who in able to bring out the umph! in your hair. Don't feel bad about trying different stylists in different saloons until you find one that you absolutely love. For me, that would be Bay.

Having over 10 years of experience, he is the only person I trust with my hair now. He recently just opened his own saloon at Far East Plaza #02-69 called D' Mane Club. Emphasizing on service and quality instead of price competition, I know you'll definitely be a happier man after coming out of this place!

We always have a lot to talk about during my haircut sessions and seems like we just click.

Oh! And did you know the reason why your hair turns out nicer when you come to saloons as compared to barbers? It's because of the quality of the tools that they use. From the shampoos and conditioners, to the shavers and scissors used to cut your hair, everything is of top grade quality from reputable names in the hairstyling industry.  

FYI, this pair of scissors used on my head costs more than $800 and was imported direct from Japan!

Everyone knows that the reason you always look good after a haircut is not because you just got your hair cut, but because the stylist knows how to style up your hair in a way that you could never be able to achieve by yourself. Really? Well think again. Today I'm gonna show you how to achieve that same out-of-saloon look. With some practice, your hair will be good to go in under 10 minutes!

Here's how my hair looks like after my morning shower. Nothing like what it is supposed to look like.

Step 1: Blow dry with a proper Hair Dryer

Forget those $10 hairdryers you get from the utilities shop down the road. If you want everyday to be a good hair day, you'll have to invest in a proper hair dryer that is strong enough to help set your hair while drying it. And the best thing about investing in a hair dryer is that the entire family can use it!

My HairScape 5000 ($100.00 for great hair everyday is a well-worth investment)

Always use the hair dryer to blow your hair in the direction you want it to set in. So for example, I want my fringe to go from left to right, so I blow it downwards and from the left side, making sure the wind blows the hair to the right side of my forehead.

Also, always remember to keep twisting your hair dryer while blowing your hair so that the hot air is not focused on one single point on your head. This is because too much heat on your scalp will damage it.

Use your free hand to help to spread the wet hair so that it dries up faster. You can also use that hand to check whether your hair is completely dry. As long as you feel any moisture or coldness as you sift through your hair, it's a sign that it is not completely dry yet. Always try to make sure that your hair is completely dry before moving on to the next step...

Step 2: Wax It!

After your hair is completely dry, it's time to put on some wax to help it stay in shape.

Again, my advice is to invest in proper hair wax and hairspray. Yes, those you find on the shelves of Watsons and Guardian work just as well in keeping your hair in shape, but the difference is when you try to wash it off. IT JUST DOES NOT COME OFF!

I believe those of you who use the normal hair wax brands like Gatsby and L'Oreal will agree with me, that even after washing multiple times with shampoo and conditioner, your hair is still a little stiff and hard. And the longer you use these wax, the worse it gets.

Basically, I believe in the old saying "You get what you pay for". I'll take quality over price any day.

You don't need a bucket full of wax for your hair. Just a fingernail's worth is more than enough.

Spread it over both your hands, making sure to cover your fingers with the wax as well...

Continue spreading the wax until you cannot see the white (or whatever colour your wax is) from the wax and your palms are all oiled up.

Now, using both hands, start from the back of your head and push your hands towards the top of your head. Make that your fingers are leading the way and are digging into your hair so that you get wax on the bottom of your hairs and not only on the top surface.

Once your hands reach the top of your head, start spreading the wax around the top part of your head in random directions, making sure to reach for the sides as well. Don't worry about the direction of your hair at this moment. We'll get that settled later.

Repeat from the back again a couple more times to make sure the wax has been evenly spread.

Now that the back and top are covered, the next step is to spread the wax from the front of your hair. Depending on how much wax you have left on your hands, you may want to just top it up with a tiny bit more.

With your fingers pointing backward, comb your hair backwards until you reach the top of your head, then just like before, spread the wax in random directions to cover the top part of your head.

Personally I prefer to use 1 hand to do this, as I feel it creates the feel of the top part being 1 single section instead of 2 sections if you use both hands.

Step 3: Getting it in Shape

Once you have waxed up your hair, it's time to get it into the shape of your preferred hairstyle. The purpose of the wax is to help keep the overall shape of your hairstyle while you go about doing your daily chores. That's the reason why you have to make sure the wax gets on the bottom part of your hair (the parts nearer to the scalp) so that the shape will stay.

For me, I'm doing a Beckham-like Mohawk, so starting with your hands at the side of your head, slowly but firmly push both hands up, until you end up with both of them meeting at the top. With the palms touching each other, continue upward until no more hair is touching any part of your hands. Repeat a couple more times to give it that Mohawk shape.

For this style, it helps to separate clearly define the top portion and bottom portion of the hairstyle. A general tip would be to draw an imaginary line from the back of your ears to the top of your head. Anything in front of this line would be the top and should be directed forward, while anything behind the line should be directed backward. This will help to clearly define the 2 sections of your hair in this hairstyle.

I use the same method described above to get a similar shape for the back portion. The only difference is that the hands start from the side of the head and move towards the back of the head.

Now we have the shape for the top and back portions of the hairstyle. But Using the hand clasping method, the front of the Mohawk will look very sharp and defined. I prefer to have it more spread out. This can be achieved by placing both hands on your forehead, and moving them vertically upwards in a swift, wiping motion. Take note to move your hands vertically upwards and not along the shape of your head. This will make the hair in front spread out, forming a less defined Mohawk front view.

Now that we have the shape in place, it's time for...

Step 4: The finishing Touches

By now, the wax should be holding the shape of the hairstyle quite firmly in place. Now we're left with the tiny detailing to complete the look. Using your thumb and index figure, slowly grab small quantities of the hair from close to your scalp and pull away from the scalp using a 'plucking' motion. [It's a plucking motion people, don't go really plucking your hair out!]

Using a mirrior, look for any 'holes' in the hairstyle where there seem to be pockets of missing hair. Use this plucking technique to fill up these 'holes' by adjusting the hair around these 'holes'.

For the back section, use the same technique but pluck in a downward motion instead of a backward motion. This will reduce the risk of having stray tails sticking out from the back of your head.

Once you are satisfied with your hair, the last step would be to set it in place using some hair spray. While wax helps to hold the shape of the hairstyle, hair spray helps to define the details of your hairstyle, so that those individual strands of hair stay as individuals, and won't cluster up once you reach the bus stop just because a gust of wind blew past your head.

When using a hair spray, take note not to place it too near your head. The spray particles should hit the tips of your hair and not your scalp. Getting too much hair spray on your scalp damages it, so remember to keep the spray at least 15cm away from your head.

Don't be afraid to use generous amounts of hair spray to make sure that your hairstyle stays in tact for the entire day. This is where buying a good hair spray makes a difference. If you use normal hair spray, you're gonna have a hard time [literally] when trying to wash your hair at the end of the day. But invest in a good hair wax and hair spray and everything just comes off with 1 dressing of shampoo.

While spraying, adjust those out of place stray hairs by holding on to the tip of them and pulling them into position. Don't try to make any more major changes at this point or you might just end up having to start all over again!

Here's another tip. For stubborn hairs that just won't stay down even with wax and hairspray, spray some hairspray directly on your finger, then use that finger to 'stick' that stubborn hair in place.

So after all that hassle, your hair is finally ready to be shown to the world!

Here's a comparison! On the left is a pic of me after my haircut. On the right is after my 10 minute styling routine at home! [Please ignore the sleepy eyes]

And here's another version of how I style my hair on days where I wanna look nerdy...

As you can see, the hairstyle makes a big difference to match the style you are trying to pull off. Notice how the nerdy glasses add more flavour to the look? We'll cover that in the next episode... Accessorise, Accessorise, Accessorise...

Hope this walkthrough has been helpful to you. Feel free to leave a comment if you have any suggestions on how you style your hair or what you would like to see in future episodes!

Tis the Season to be Jolly

December is here. And what comes to mind when you think of December? The season of giving: Christmas. And what comes to mind when we talk about Christmas? Shopping and Presents! And these topics are what this post will be dedicated to.

Here are some personal tips and tricks on how to make sense of the crazy sales, endless gift lists and fake Santas during the month of December.

Shopping for Presents

Unless you're like Mr Bean, who buys a present to send to himself, [aka Forever Alone] it's almost certain that you would need to buy a couple of presents for the people special to you. Here are some pointers on how to be able to enjoy a relaxing 24th December, seated comfortably at a cafe in town, laughing at those last minute shoppers as they rush up and down Orchard Road trying to find that last gift for that last person they forgot to buy for, instead of being one of them.

1. Start Planning Early
No, I don't mean buying them a Christmas present during January and keeping it locked up in your storeroom until Christmas day. But it would be good to decide at least 1 month before Christmas, who you would be going to buy presents for. It would be even better if you could categorise them into one of these categories: "Die Die Must Buy", "Can Buy If Got Time" and "Buy, Don Buy, Also Nevermind". Focus on clearing the names in the first 2 categories first before even thinking of touching anyone in the last category.

2. You are not Santa Claus
You do not have a white beard, round belly or use "Ho! Ho! Ho!" as your catchphrase. And you definitely do not have a legion of flying reindeers and a dream-powered sled that can bring you around the world in less than 12 hours. So don't go acting like the Jolly Good Fella and plan to buy presents for the whole universe [or at least every single one of your friends]. Time and resources are limited, so focus on getting meaningful presents for those whom you really treasure.

3. Elementary, My Dear Watson
Next, it's time to do some detective work, ala Sherlock Holmes. Trying to find the perfect Chirstmas present for a particular person can sometimes be a daunting task, especially if that person seems to already have everything he needs. This is where the groundwork comes in.

I like to be observant around the people whom I'm going to buy presents for. Take note of their personal belongings: Wallet, watch, belts, clothes bags etc and see if any of them are getting old or worn out. Chances are, you'll be able to spot something that you can give as a present the next time you need one.

But take note: Do not, I repeat DO NOT buy what the person requests for on their social media platform (E.g. Facebook or Twitter) because 5,000 other uncreative friends will also have seen that status and will most probably be getting him that item too. The only time when this rule does not apply is if he requests for something that is very costly and would be affordable by 1 or 2 people. This is when you can gather the friends together and save everyone in the group some major shopping headaches. Only works for items that need more than 5 people to share though.

4. Shopping Time!
Now that you have the list of all the items you need to buy this Christmas, it's time to put on your jousting armour and prepare to battle the crowds to get them presents. But wait! Make sure you do your research on where to purchase your presents. It would be a waste to travel all the way to Orchard to buy the present only to realise that the nearby neighbourhood mall was selling the exact same item.

And always, ALWAYS start with the neighbourhood malls first. I have no idea why everyone flocks to Orchard Road to do their Christmas shopping when there are actually a lot of hidden gems in your nearby neighbourhood shopping centre. In fact, it would probably cost lesser if you got it from the neighbourhood malls instead of the ATAS shopping district that is Orchard. Orchard Road is strictly for when you have no other choice.

5. Generic Gifts and Spares
Generic gifts are items that hold little or no meaning, but you can practically give them to any Tom, Harry, Dick [Don't you think it sounds better in that order?] or Susan as a last minute present. I am usually not a fan of buying generic gifts as I feel each present should be carefully thought out for the receiver to enjoy it as a practical and meaningful gift. However, if you really must buy generic gifts as presents I would recommend PRACTICAL stuff like mugs, towels, facial products, water bottles etc. You know, those that a person can actually use? [Takashimaya usually has a bunch of these stuff at basement 1]

A snow globe or Santa sock may be in line with the festivities but I would definitely not have any space for it on my already swamped desk. It would probably end up at the bottom of my drawer and make its way to the rubbish bin after a couple of years. However, I wouldn't mind a sexy Santarina outfit that I could get my girlfriend to slip into... hmmmm

6. Gift Wrapping
If you think the queue at the cashier is long, take a look at that long snaking line with people carrying bags of items. That, my friend, is the queue to the gift wrapping counter. That magical place where, in the hands of tiny elves cleverly disguised as teenage humans, normal-looking everyday items suddenly become attractive parcels of desire. Unless you have lots of time to spare, I would suggest NOT to join that magical queue.

Instead, get someone that you know [a female human species works well in this case] to help you with some of the present wrapping. If you have a sister, bully her into helping you to wrap the presents. If you have a girlfriend, tell her she can only unwrap her present after she has helped you wrap the rest of the presents [You might need another female human to help you to wrap hers first]. If you are a female human yourself, well, problem solved. And if you don't fall into any of these 3 categories, well, all I can say is I hope your smartphone's battery is up to the task. Cause it's going to be a long long wait...

I hope my little guide to Christmas shopping can come in handy for all you readers out there. And of course, most importantly, it's not about the presents that you receive, but about the company that you spend this special occasion with.

A word of advice, every other place on Earth will be overflowing with festive celebrators and exorbitant "Christmas Special" prices. If you ask me, the best way to spend Christmas is to keep it simple and real by inviting a few friends over to celebrate with a fun and enjoyable house party. No crowds, no crazy prices, and definitely no mad rush for the last train/bus.

How would you be spending your Christmas this year?